


Words hold power

by CourtNicxVoltronxYJ



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith has an eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:42:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtNicxVoltronxYJ/pseuds/CourtNicxVoltronxYJ
Summary: Keith gets triggered and his eating disorder comes kicking back up in full force.
Relationships: Keith & Voltron Paladins
Comments: 18
Kudos: 161





	Words hold power

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not be good due to I wrote this very quickly. It is a short vent fic for me kinda.

It was a slow day for the paladins today, no attacks or missions. So it was basically a free day for everyone. Hunk spent the day in the kitchen, Pidge in the Green Lion hanger working on something, Allura and Shiro on the bridge discussing things and Coran off doing whatever Coran does whenever things are going slowly like they were. Keith held himself up in the training room for hours on end working on himself.   
Lance was laying in the lounge, bored out of his mind. He had already played with the mice, visited Blue and peeked in to see what Pidge was doing only to get some kind of tool thrown at his head cause he touched something and it began to beep. He sighed as he sat up. He didn't know what he should do because he was bored, he could nap but then that might mess up his whole sleep pattern for the evening. So, Lance got up and headed for the kitchen to eat something and to visit his best friend. 

The doors swooshed opened and to his surprise someone else was in there besides Hunk, Keith. "What are you doing in here mullet?" questioned Lance as he walked over towards Hunk and slung his arm over his shoulder and looked into the pot his was stirring. 

"None of your business" grumbled Keith as he went back to eating some blue goo. Lance made a face at that, he didn't like that blue goo. The green goo was one thing but the blue goo had a weird taste to it that Lance just couldn't get used to it, but for some reason Keith seemed to like it a lot. Lance turned his attention back onto Hunk.

"So what's fun lunch big guy?" he asked.

"Well it's some kind of stew that kinda tastes like chicken noodle soup, although it has no chicken in it" said Hunk. He reached up and grabbed a bowl for Lance and poured some into the bowl for him. Lance smiled at him and patted him on his back as a thanks. As Lance sat down, Coran, Shiro and Allura came walking in for lunch.

"Whoa my boy, that smells nice!" said Coran with a hug smile as he hopped over to grab some.

"Thanks Coran" Hunk said.

Everyone got a bowl and sat down to eat while Hunk went to deliver Pidge some in the Green Lion hanger. 

"Man mullet, you're missing out! Eating that nasty blue stuff can't be that great for you, you need some of Hunk's healthy food dude" said Lance.

Keith just shot him a look before looking down at his bowl of blue goo for a moment in thought.

"Ha well Number 3 it makes sense why Number 4 likes it so much" Coran said.

"It does?" Lance asked looking at Coran who looked at Allura who gave a little chuckle.

"What?!?" Keith asked.

"You see Number 4, Galra kits favor that for its taste but it also helps them grow" said Coran.

"Wait a minute..." said Lance as he looked at Keith and smiled. "So it's some kind of baby fat food to make the babies gain weight. Ohh that's awesome. Is little Keithy hungry?" Lance said.

"Lance" said Shiro in a warning tone.

"It's perfectly normal for Galra kits to want it, they need as much fat as you say to grow strong'' said Coran. 

And with that Keith stood up quickly and headed out the door. Shiro's voice calling his name falling silent to his ears along with Lance's snickers about Keith's weight. He stomped down the hallway making his way towards his bedroom as fast as he could.

"Oh Keith" called Hunk making Keith pause for a moment but not turn around, "I hope you tried some of that stew, it's good for us especially after that last mission where we didn't eat for a day. We all could use some extra pounds, haha" said Hunk.

"...Y-Yeah" said Keith before walking off quickly.

Fat. Fat. Fat.

You're Fat! 

That's what his mind kept telling him, screaming at him. It wouldn't stop. A tightness formed within his chest and his stomach began to ache. Keith made it to his bedroom and rushed to the bathroom. He slammed the door shut and locked it. He passed around the small room for a second, trying to calm himself down because he already knew what his mind and body was wanting him to do, it wanted him to purge, to throw up. The pain grew inside him and the screams that he was fat grew louder. The voices of everyone, of what they said were flying round and he just couldn't take it, he had to silence it all. 

Keith found himself down upon his knees, taking in a deep breath before he shoved two of his fingers into his mouth and down his throat. He gagged and chocked but he finally managed to throw up all the blue goo, the threw up until his throat was raw and there was blood on his fingertips. Keith sighed and sat backwards, flushing the toilet and letting the reality of it all set in.

He relapsed.

He was doing so well, doing better. And then...this.  
Sometimes things can be said without meaning any harm to anyone but sadly Keith struggles with mental health and his brain can't just take the words for words, they hurt him deeply, to the point where he hurt himself. 

Keith lets the tears fall down his face before his pushes his self up to clean himself up. He felt better, lighter but it wasn't good enough for he felt like he had failed himself but more importantly Shiro and the whole team now. So, after cleaning up, Keith made his way to the training deck and began working out, pushing himself, punishing himself because that's what he thought he deserved because he was never good enough until he made himself good enough. So he needed to keep working, eat less, just be better so that one day he would be worth something and matter. 

So he trained, he trained the rest of that night until black spots filled his vision and the room tiled and everything went dark.

But that didn't scare him, that just pushed him to go farther, to strive to be better because for him not being good enough could get the others killed and eventually they will see that he isn't worth being around.   
That he never was in the first place.

He was never worth being there.   
Being a paladin, being a friend, being........

alive.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is kinda a vent fic for me. I just had dinner and after my family make jokes, comments about what I eat and my weight. Saying I should eat meat because it's healthy for me, it has protein, etc. that i shouldn't eat pasta because I enjoy it and eat it instead of meat. That eating pasta instead of meat will make me super fat etc. and you know this is a crazy time with this whole virus thing going on and I'm stuck at home, i can't go to work to escape my home life, to escape the verbal and emotional abuse and it is just making my mental health, my depression worst. I cut a few days ago, out of the blue cause i was feeling worthless. I hadn't cut in about a year. So with my family calling me fat and laughing at me and I just got upset, went upstairs and purged. But I had to get my emotions out somewhere and I used to self harm after purging because I would hate myself for being such a failure once again that I would cut to punish myself but I don't want to go back down that path, I am actually saving up $ to get a tattoo over my self harm scars on my wrist. Anyways, so i needed somewhere to put this crap and once again i put it on Keith again. I don't know if anyone is going to read this and if you do, thanks, I doubt it is any good. I wrote it very quickly.


End file.
